I’ve never been great at resolutions, and as a person in recovery from an eating disorder, the whole diet culture -weight loss talk stuff around New Years can be pretty overwhelming and triggering. In past years I’ve chosen a theme word for the year, “reflect,” or “rooted,” but I tried something new this year.

Taking a cue from the podcast Happier, and their #18for2018 challenge, I set 18 mini goals for the year. I was successful on some, somewhat successful on others, and less than successful on a few others. Here’s what I set out to do:

Number One: Try Twelve Yoga/Movement Classes

Loved this one. I went to classes at: Tula Yoga in Saint Paul, (their Yin/Restorative and Candlelight classes are amazing, and the Soma classes are super interesting; Yess Yoga/Curvy Yoga in Minneapolis (shout out to Elisabeth and the monthly Body Love Workshops; Radical Health Alliance (Ani is a little bit of a body liberation superstar); YogaQuest (doing yoga while pretending to be a second year at Hogwarts was so fun); I also counted a Fat Girls Hiking hike that I did at Silver Lake Park, and an open water swim class that I took with the YWCA of Minneapolis in preparation for the Women’s Tri Super Sprint.

Number Two: Buy a new “everyday” belt.

This one was easy, I got a great reversible black/brown belt from Torrid. It’s so nice to not have to pull your pants up every time I stand up. Not sure why I waited until I was 37 to buy an everyday belt, but three cheers for achievable goals.

Number Three:  See “Hamilton.”

YES!!!! I have loved this musical so much. When I was recovering from my brain injury reading the lyrics with Amazon Music x-ray was a part of how I learned to read aloud again. The music is fantastic, the story is strong, I knew that I would love it. But when we saw it in Chicago, I was struck by just how physical and funny it was. This was fantastic.

Number Four: Do the YWCA Women’s Tri Mini Sprint

Ok, so it’s called a super sprint, not a mini-sprint. I came in 210th out of 211th place. But I did it. It was so empowering. I wasn’t able to train as much as I would have liked, and I was very nervous, but I told myself that if I got my feet wet in the lake I was successful. I finished the swim and got on my bike. I finished the bike, and was greeted by my dad, who gave me the hat off his head, Richard and Elise, who walked the final one mile walk run with me. After the race I kept thinking that right after my concussion I couldn’t walk in a straight line for more than four feet. It took months before I could walk around the block. But here I was, I swam 250 yards, biked seven miles and walked one mile. This was a super cool experience.

Number Five:  A quarterly getaway.

Almost. We did three big trips this year, and I’m about to do a cabin getaway. We travelled to Jamaica in January/February, Eastern Wisconsin and Chicago in July, and Orlando in December. So I’ll have done four trips they just weren’t spaced out quarterly. Close enough.

Number Six: Buy some cute supportive dressier shoes.

I had started wearing orthotic inserts in 2017 but that meant that I was literally wearing running shoes everywhere, or being in pain when I was in dressier shoes. So I scheduled an appointment at Schueller Shoes and got two beautiful pair. In the summer I also ordered some supportive sandals. I love my shoe rotation now. My feet feel good too.

Number Seven: Buy a new swimsuit.

I bought two! The first is a cute strapless floral one, that is great for splashing around and lying in the sun, but I learned pretty quickly that it is a little awkward for actual swimming, so then I ordered a second one that I wore for the triathalon.

Number Eight: Make a photo year book (for 2017).

I didn’t get this done until November, but it’s done and it’s cute and if all of the internet based places that I store my photos disappear when I’m an old lady I’ll have a hard copy of some of my memories.

Number Nine: Connect with one out of town friend or relative every week.

I was semi-successful on this, but I found that it was hard to measure. If Richard called his family and handed me the phone for 2 minutes did that count? Is a whatApp text message enough to count as connecting? What if my sister is visiting from out of town and I see her? I did make a point (separate from this #18for2018 goal) of calling my parents once a week, that added a lot of happiness to my year. I want to keep working on connecting with people out of town, but this goal taught me that “connecting,” is harder to measure than I thought.

Number Ten: Assess, plan and implement finances, savings, debt, home, giving.

Nope, well a little but basically nope. This one was WAY TOO VAGUE and WAY TOO AMBITIOUS for one goal. Also it’s super weirdly written. We did negotiate a lower internet bill and I fought for more generous financial aid, and I’m tracking spending a little better than before, but honestly this one was not too successful. If you can’t measure success it’s hard to even take action.

Number Eleven: Submit writing to a new publication.

Kind of. After two years of medical leave to recover from my concussion, I forgot how much reading and writing and time and mental energy being back in school would take. But, I was approached by the General Board of Church and Society of the United Methodist Church to write two lessons as a part of their Faith & Justice curriculum for Jr. High groups. So, I did technically submit writing to a new publication, but it wasn’t what I had in mind. Boy I wrote a lot this year though! It was mostly about United Methodist doctrine, history, polity, the role of religion in the public sphere, and Clinical Pastoral Education reflections. I’m eager to have more time to write non-academically.

Number Twelve: Volunteer in Direct Service.

I’m counting this one as a yes. It was for school, not some extra-curricular volunteer work, but I am going to give myself a yes. I realized after finishing my first year serving at a suburban church that my life was missing proximity to the poor. I take Jesus at his word that whatever we do to the least of these we do unto him, and my life a year ago had very little interfacing time with “the least.” This fall I was enrolled in the Social Justice CPE program and got to spend two mornings each week at The Dignity Center. A ministry that welcomes and supports people on their path to stability. Most of our participants have lived experience with homelessness. I also got to spend 6 weeks at Lino Lakes Correctional Facility learning restorative justice from those inside. This semester has changed me in ways that I will never fully understand.

Number Thirteen: Learn Some Embroidery

Here’s another example of, if it’s not specific it’s hard to know if it was accomplished or not. I’m gong to vote “no/kind of,” on this one. I did do one embroidery project. Or I started it, it’s sitting in a shoe box. I didn’t learn any new stitches, I did pin a lot of embroidery pins on pinterest and bought a really fancy embroidery book, but I did not, “learn some embroidery.”

Number Fourteen: Do something special with each godchild/niece.

This is tricky. We took the three year old to the beach when we were in Jamaica, we met the ten year old in Orlando. The six, nearly seven year old went to see “The Wiz,” with us at the Children’s Theatre Company. But some were too little to do something special with. Being “aunty,” is my favorite role in the world so I’m glad for the special things that we did.

Number Fifteen:  Twelve New Hikes.

I loved this one too! My favorites were Devil’s Lake and Kohler-Andrae State Parks in Wisconsin. The most memorable was Pike Island at Fort Snelling State Park (heat exhaustion and an ambulance ride). I love hiking. I love how my brain and my body and my heart connect with each other, and the rest of creation. I love travelling and moving and seeing nature.

Number Sixteen: Submit/Display art in public.

School really took all of my creative energy in 2018. Even the work that I was doing in visual arts in 2016 and 2017 with Daley Blooms was mostly on hold in 2018 (I did make one handmade sale and one redbubble sale though). I love creating visual art, and I may recycle this goal for a future year, because it feels like a brave and important thing for me to do, but right now I’m ok with letting this goal be “a hard no.”

Number Seventeen: Complete the Bo-Po (body positivity) workbook.

I am mostly recovered from my eating disorder, but my body image issues are stubborn. There was a packet of worksheet/coloring pages that an art therapist gave to me from Francis Cannon (cw: lots of naked bodies in her illustrations and photos). I did one page of it but wasn’t ever inspired to keep doing it. I have been pursuing body acceptance in a bunch of other ways though, through Fat Positive movement classes and groups, social media and reading. I’m currently in the middle of Fat and Faithful.

Number Eighteen:  Fifty-two friend dates.

I stopped counting in November #gradstudent life. I don’t think that I got to fifty-two, but I got close (in the 40s for sure). I love being a student, and am so grateful for the chances that I have had to work while in school, and now to do CPE this past semester. I am pursuing my professional and personal goals and I am grateful for the ways that I have grown and been transformed this year. But I would be lying if I said that it was easy for me and easy on my friendships. I have had to turn down way more invitations to hang out, or go to events than I would have liked. Graduation is May 5, and there will be lots of friend time this spring and summer.